Raleigh
Friends Meeting
625 Tower
Street, Raleigh, NC 27607, (919) 821-4414
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What do you wear?
A: Few modern Friends dress like the man on the Oatmeal box any more. Nor do they wear bonnets or avoid the use of buttons. Because of our emphasis on equality and simplicity, many of us prefer not to dress formally. Our pictures webpage shows some modern Quakers.
Q: Are you connected with the Amish or the Mennonites?
A: The Friends, the Amish, and the Mennonites are three religious organizations that have historically opposed involvement in war of any kind. There are no formal ties between these groups, though we often coorperate in our service activities and witness. You can find information about Friends organizations and peace activities on our links page.
Q: Are all members of the Religious Society of Friends Pacifists?
A: No. George Fox, a key founding member of the Friends, once told his friend William Penn that "he could wear his sword for as long as he could." In other words, such matters are left to individual concience and leadings. Friends have a deep respect for those whose beliefs have led them to make sacrifices for military service and for those who have opposed it.
Q: Do you believe in God?
A: Yes, Friends gather in silent worship in a corporate effort to discern God's will for us in our time. We recognize God in our worship and look for that of God in all people.
Q: Are you Christian?
A: Yes, Friends practice and belief is rooted in a strong emphasis on the Bible and an attempt to live in the ways demonstrated by Jesus Christ. As a rule, we pay particular attention to the words of Jesus that have been passed down to us in the gospel of John and the letter of James. We also look forward to the experience of continuing revelations from Christ during our corporate worship and in our prayer lives. One of the functions of our corporate worship is to discern whether a given message is a genuine leading from God.
Q: How can I get involved?
A: The best way is just to come and worship with us. Come on a First-Day (Sunday) morning at about 9:30 AM to 9:55 AM. Go to other pages to find directions, maps, and times. Also, if you leave a message on our phone (919-821-4414), somebody will get back to you.
Q: Where did the Friends come from?
A: Please visit our history webpage.
Q: How does one become a member?
A: For procedural issues such as becoming a new adult member of a Friends Meeting, most answers can be found in a "Faith and Practice" booklet, published by one of the Yearly Meetings (a state-wide or regional body run by representatives of the local Monthly Meetings). What follows are some quotes from the Philadelphia Yearly Meeting's "Faith and Practice" book, which often is used by Raleigh Friends Meeting:
"Those who desire to join the Society of Friends should read Faith and Practice carefully. By this means, by discussions with Meeting members and study of Friends' writings, they gain a sympathetic understanding of Friends' mode of worship, the transaction of business and responsibilities of membership...
"An applicant for membership should address a letter to the Monthly Meeting of their choice, stating why they feel drawn into the fellowship of the Society of Friends, and indicating that they are in unity with its principles and testimonies. This letter, addressed to the Monthly Meeting, is to be send to the Clerk ..., who should acknowledge it promptly."
The following quote comes from the Faith and Practice book of discipline of the North Carolina Yearly Meeting, Conservative: "Before final action of the application is taken, a committee is named by the Monthly Meeting, to visit with the applicant for the specific purposes of interpreting the beliefs and procedures of the Society of Friends... and determining the applicant's readiness for membership. If the Monthly meeting is satisfied that there is full realization of the implications of membership and wishes to accept the applicant, the individual should be welcomed without delay... Acceptance may be delayed if either the applicant or the interviewers feel any hesitation as to the rightness of the step."
And, for a third take on the same subject, Howard Brinton wrote the following in Pendle Hill Pamphlet No. 20 (1955): Application for membership is made to the Monthly Meeting by letter addressed to the ... clerk... The Meeting appoints a committee, usually consisting of two people [more often 3 at Raleigh Friends Meeting] to interview the applicant. It is their duty to ascertain whether or not they understand the beliefs and practices of the Society of Friends and whether or not they are in substantial agreement with them and intend to conduct themself accordingly... They should report their findings and judgement to a future [Meeting for Worship for the Conduct of Business]. If the Meeting grants the application, a minue is made to that effect and the applicant is notified."
Q: What does it mean to "worship in the manner of Friends."
A: The "unprogrammed" worship service conducted in many Quaker groups, including ours, involves respectful, expectant waiting. Each participants waits in silence with an expectation that the holy spirit speaks to each person in various ways, and also might choose to speak to us through the voice of another person as we meet in worship. During worship in the manner of Friends one often may hear several "messages" spoken from the silence, followed by more silence and reflection. A valuable message, seemingly intended just for oneself, sometimes comes from an unexpected source, such as a child. Sometimes a whole hour of worship passes during which no person has felt the call to speak a message to the group. Discernment is required to judge whether a given urge to speak comes from the heart and from God, or whether it is one's ego or intellect trying to get attention. At the close of the worship time someone designated by the Meeting will signal the end of the corporate worship by a handshake.
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